Caroline or Change

On Nov 13, young people from our New York programs (plus a special guest graduate from Shanti Bhavan currently pursuing their doctorate at Hofstra) were gifted a field trip to see Caroline or Change on Broadway by long-time supporter, Joe Cherner (pictured front row, left). The opportunity was moving for all, but especially for Joe, who saw his own childhood reflected on stage. Shared with his permission, the following is a letter he was moved to write to the show’s writer, Tony Kushner.

Dear Tony, 

My Caroline taught me my values. I taught her how to read. For all intents and purposes, she raised me. I begged her to quit smoking. She died of lung cancer, and I was the only one in my family to attend her funeral. She dreamed of going to Atlantic City. When I finally received my first paycheck, I called. She was already too sick. 

At home, My Caroline was often my only companion. I fought for her attention, and I’d call her name incessantly while she tried to work. She’d answer, “Caroline isn’t here anymore. She changed her name and took a slow boat to China. Now, go out and play in traffic.” She said things like that, but I knew she loved me. 

I pleaded with My Caroline to attend my Bar Mitzvah. She got all dressed up. There is a full-page majestic photo of her sitting in a chair in our living room looking at the camera. It’s in my Bar-Mitzvah album. She tried. 

My parents were kind to My Caroline, but rarely present. My father gifted my mother with a painted, framed portrait. My mother didn’t like it. It lived for years in various piles of debris in our basement. When My Caroline was bedridden and close to death, I drove to her home for the first time. I made my way through a poor neighborhood, got out of my car, opened her door, and climbed the stairs to her bedroom to say my last goodbye. My mother’s portrait hung at the top of the stairs. On her dresser were pictures of her children... and a picture of me.

She took me to elementary school in the morning and Hebrew school in the afternoon. And I took her to my Bar-Mitzvah. Call her the maid if you want, but she taught me my values. And most people and their values couldn’t hold a candle to hers. My husband and I have been married for almost forty years. We have two grown children. I wish they could have known My Caroline. I often think of her. Thank you for telling our story. 

Sincerely, 

Joe Cherner